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Helloooo! :)

Wow, it's been a while since I updated here... I alrways meant to, but didn't for one reason or another...

A lot has changed, I'm now on another team at work and liking my job a lot more. The mission prep is going pretty well, and things with Shaun are still amazing.
I'm back with my parents - officially. It's hard getting along with them all the time, it takes work, but I know it'll be worth it in the end.

I don't think I'll be updating here all that much any more, I now have my own website, if you want to go have a gander, follow this link :)

Lots of love!
Chantelle xx

I always seem to update this thing at work...
Today I'm unbelievably tired. I can't seem to concentrate, I'm really lethargic and just want to go home. I'm not deliberately trying to ignore the work that I have to do, I just find mindlessly surfing the internet and updating my blog a much less taxing use of my time... I think if I attempt any work at the moment I'll either make a horrible mess of it, or my brain will explode. I think it's all the lost sleep from the countless hours of overtime I did last week coming back to bite me in the behind!

... Since the update last week things are actually looking up at work. I sent the following e-mail to my line manager...

Hi Paul,

I realise you are very busy at the moment, but if you could take a few minutes to have a read through I would really appreciate it...

It's been a while since I brought this up with you, but after speaking to Cigna they have suggested I tried talking about the situation again with someone other than my coach... I was wondering, considering the amount of people that have either left - or are leaving - Sales Support in the near future, whether there would be any opportunities for me to move over there, even for a couple of days a week...

I have had problems with depression in the past and I really don't want to see myself back in that situation and having to have periods off work because of it... Unfortunately I can feel myself slipping in that direction and I'm finding myself not wanting to come in to work in the mornings any more and not having any motivation when I'm here...

I feel like I've done all I can in this particular role, and I feel a lot like I'm treading water and not really going anywhere - there isn't any room for progression just now in the way of working towards a promotion of any sort, and as far as I am aware there are not any extra responsibilities I can take on in order to progress in the role I have now. I have worked really hard on this job up to now, but I just feel as though I am stuck in a rut with nothing new to work on, and as though the abilities I feel I have and could put to good use here are currently going to waste.

Also, although I am exceeding my targets at the moment, I am finding myself not really wanting to try and do this any more - when I took the job I was under the impression that it was 60/40 (ish) customer service and sales... But obviously as the company has grown over the last year, the needs of the company and the job roles have shifted slightly... I have always been more customer service orientated, and I would much prefer to have my focus on this in my everyday work if at all possible.

So I suppose what I am really trying to say is - is there anything else I could do that will enable me to learn new skills here, or take on any other responsibilities, or enable me to progress in other areas?

I really don't want to leave this company, or this department if I am being completely honest - I love the people and the atmosphere here, so I would prefer to talk this through with you to see what may be available before looking elsewhere, if that's what I'll have to do...

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it.

Chantelle

 

... I sent that last Monday afternoon. On Tuesday morning he took me aside and told me that he would take me off the phones as much as possible between then & this Friday, and then we would have a talk about where to move me. He explained that there isn't a position available as such, but that he would make one for me as not to lose me from the team completely, which I thought was nice of him. He said I am "one of the most valued members of the team" and he really did not want to see me leave cause I'm "one of the very few with any common sense and intellect" (!) Haha if only he really knew me ;-) Just kidding... It's nice to hear things like that. They're very few and far between in this place, the management do try their best to give praise where it's due but unfortunately the attention is usually given to the idiot mistakes that get made over and over again...
Anyway. Since then I've been off the phones every day. This morning was my longest stint on the phones, for a whole 3 hours!! Haha. He's gonna move me on to processing W/C 26/05 and then when Shaun leaves I'm getting the job he's about to move to (if I want it). Or at least that's the plan for now. But it'll be discussed at the end of this week. I'm glad I said something.
Of course, ever since I've had calls and letters left right and centre offering interviews for jobs I've applied for, which I'm now unsure whether I want. If possible, I would much rather stay here and develop in other areas than get another job and then only have a few months there and have to leave. I like it here. I'm settled! If the job can change I'll be quite happy staying here!

Things are going pretty well elsewhere too! My date is set for next week to move out of the house... I need to be there probably all day this Wednesday packing & sorting stuff out... My dad has been there painting the walls in the living room, and the carpet is being fitted at some point this week (I think!). So things are coming together there... To be honest, I'm just looking forward to getting the £400 bond back!! I need it at the moment!! Haha :) I'd love to spend it on a Digital SLR but I know there are more important things it could go on (I hate being sensible!). Things are going well with church... I am growing closer to my Heavenly Father every day and am really beginning to recognise more fully all the amazing blessings in my life. I'm really getting to KNOW Him more rather than just knowing more ABOUT Him. Loving it. Stake Conference was this weekend too... That was really good, Kenneth Johnson was there to reorganise the Presidency and he is such an amazing speaker. There was such an amazing spirit there on the Saturday night... It really hit home to me just how important Prophets are and just how utterly BLESSED we are to have them back on the earth once more and just how much more attention we need to pay to their counsel... I was ranting to Shaun about it in the car on the way back... And then I said a really long prayer and broke down into a big soggy mess. It was great. Haha :)

Me & Shaun are going to church tonight to have a FHE/Lesson with Steven (Stephen?) & the missionaries tonight. I am SO excited about him. He's getting baptised next weekend... Well, if the brethren get their act together and stop trying to cancel it because of the flippin' football he will be, anyway. I think its ridiculous. OK, so Hull are going to Wembley. But this is the guy's chance to come into the Gospel and begin his journey towards eternal life for Pete's sake!! I think that's ever so slightly more important than a football match. They should sort out their priorities.
AAAAND rant over.

Anyway. I've only 35 mins to go now, I should probably go do some work. Or try to. Or at least look like I'm doing something remotely productive.

Just wanted to write another quick note and say - I'm now on my lunch until 13:30... And by the time I return I will still not have done any work.

Get IN!! Woooo :)

Ooooh I swear, I am terrible. I said I was gonna update this thing WEEKS ago...

So. What's been going on lately...
After a lot of umming and ahhing and messing about, Shaun finally got his Patriarchal Blessing last Tuesday. Am really happy for him, and I'm itching to get mine now too!
Things seem to be moving along nicely for his mission... All being well his papers should be in by the end of the month.
I'm still really wanting to get things moving with mine and start planning... But there's not a great deal I can do at the moment, I have to wait at least another couple of months I guess... Seeing as I won't be able to recieve my endowments until October... But then, that's something I'd need to talk to the Bishop about. And he's proving as elisuve as ever to get hold of!! I may just turn up to church early on Sunday... But then it's Stake Conference so he'll have enough to think about...
Ooh or I could have a chat with him tomorrow before or after correlation if he's around... We'll see.
I really can't wait to get started on stuff :) I just want to feel as though I'm DOING something rather than just sticking around treading water and going nowhere.

I've been looking for another job. I'm sick to the gills of Comet, the job is driving me crazy and the management are not taking me at all seriously when I tell them the job is making me depressed. I can feel myself slowly slipping away, no matter how hard I try to keep myself ina good mood it just constantly brings me down... I don't want to wake up and find that it's a permanent state of mind one day. I don't understand why they're refusing point blank to move me to another department... 3 people have recently left, and another 3 are leaving within the next month so they can't tell me there are no jobs available. Sure, the job roles may be changing at work at the moment but they still are not going to have enough people to do the work to a good standard. They may have enough people to be able to just scrape by and get everything done, but it's not going to be done WELL.

I shouldn't get to stressed about it. But it's hard when it's affecting my well-being.
I registered with a new employment agency at the back end of last week, they said they'd be in touch early this week with any vacancies. And I had a job interview at an insurance place for a receptionist on Friday too... But it's really not a place I'd want to work, seeing the work environment... It would be worse for me than this place.
The problem is though - there is nothing I REALLY want to do at the moment. I don't want to work any more. I feel like my perspective on life has completely changed and although I realise I need to work to be able to support myself financially, I just have no motivation for any particular KIND of work. In an ideal world, I would just work at being a good mum and homemaker. I can't start on that for another couple of years, so in the mean time... Between now and my mission... I'm just stuck.

I wouldn't mind having a part-time job somewhere and using the rest of the time to study, or just really find myself and do things that are important to me. Maybe a part time class somewhere or something. But I don't think that will happen.

I bought a new website for myself recently... Actually, at the beginning of March. I haven't done anything with it yet - I haven't had the time or the energy. That's another reason I want to be able to work part-time... I don't have any energy or time to do anything that is important to me any more. I don't have time to develop my skills and learn new ones... I know I should probably MAKE time, but I'm just so exhausted... All my free time is already taken up by Church activities or responsibilities, and I'm not going to give any less attention to them. ... Institute is ending in a couple of weeks. I'll have my Wednesday nights back then... I could use that time for something.

... Am at work at the moment. There's nothing to do... The systems are in the middle of being changed around and it was supposed to be all sorted by around 8am, but it's now gone 11 and they're still not working... Sooo we can't do anything. Not that I'm complaining!
Ooooohh I really want out of this place.

Anyway. Before I get on another rant about my work life I'm going to end here.

Note to self: Need to try and update more regularly!!

Get me! Updating twice in three days!
Not really much to say, & can't stay long cause I'm late getting ready for work...
Been staying at my parents over the last week while they've been on holiday, looking after the dog & whatnot. Got up super early this morning and cleaned & hoovered the house to make sure it was presentable for them! I'll find out later I guess... And I made a quiche and flapjack yesterday... There's still loads left, so my dad will be pleased!! Haha
EEK! Didn't realise I was THAT late... I'll come back and write after correlation tonight.

I am terrible at remembering to update things like this! It's been over a month - I've been just as bad with my paper journal - BAD Chantelle!! I have good intentions, I just never seem to find the time or the energy to put into things like this. Which is a shame. But I'm going to make more of an effort, especially since from now on things are going to be changing pretty rapidly for me! :)

I've made a conscious decision to be more practical with my money. A somewhat regrettable outcome of this is moving back in with my parents. I'll save a heck of a lot of money and hopefully be able to get my finances back on track. Saying that, most of them are alright now, but theres still a couple of loose ends to tie up.

Also, I've decided to serve a mission. I had a little chat with the Bishop about it on Tuesday night - he asked me to see if there were any Sister Missionaries in the area I could go out with. But there aren't any in the Stake any more... I'd have to go to Doncaster or Leeds or something. Which wouldn't be a huge sacrifice, it would just be a lot of messing about to organise. I'll have to do it when I get some time off. Bishop said he was going to schedule a missionary interview as well, so I can probably look forward to having that sometime around September if his timing with Shaun is anything to go by!
... I just decided to stop fighting the promptings I was getting to go. I've spent countless hours wrestling with Heavenly Father over this and he wasn't budging (duh - took me longer than it should have to realise that!!) and I've actually started to be really excited about the idea. I can understand why Shaun is itching to be off - I feel the same way :) I can't wait! Someone asked me the other day why I'd want to put my life on hold for 18 months to voluntarily spend my waking hours telling people about the gospel. I thought about it seriously for a minute, instead of just answering on autopilot like I usually do, and I came to the realisation that I just want as many people as possible to have what I have, and to know what I know. It's as simple and as complicated as that. Our Heavenly Father loves ALL of his children. I want to be able to bring people to that knowledge and have them feel what I feel. And I don't see it as "putting my life on hold", I see it as an opportunity to have my life expanded in a different direction, and I know I'll grow and learn more in those 18 months serving the Lord than I would being stuck here at Comet!! Ooooh it's making me all excited thinking about it! I've been researching all the different missions ... OK maybe not ALL of them. But a lot of them. And I can't honestly say that I'd rather get sent one place over another. Obviously I would prefer to be out of the country... Not for any other reason than I'd probably get desperately homesick in the first month and jump onto the nearest train! There needs to be a plane ride between me and home... I'd be stuck then!! Haha :)
And after initially being scared to death at the thought of going to a foreign speaking mission, I've now warmed to the idea a bit. It would be very challenging, but also very cool. And very rewarding too, I should expect! :) I think they'll send me somewhere cold though, just because of my tattooes. I'd have to cover up my arms all the time... Unless they decide to do a little "serves you right for gettin' 'em!" thing and send me somewhere like Hawaii and make me wear sweaters the whole time!

Dom & Jo's wedding was last Saturday (12/04). It was brilliant. And she looked absolutely amazing. I hope I manage to get a dress half as pretty! Dom was holding out pretty well... Until he realised she was in the building. Then he started getting visibly nervous. Veeery visibly nervous. I am so happy for them... This wedding has been a heck of a long time coming and I'm just really glad that they can finally get on with their lives as Mr. and Mrs. Dominic Barber! They're on their honeymoon in Turkey at the moment... Lucky blighters!!
It seems to be wedding central at the moment... Aimee Culver is getting married next month and then Hannah Smith is getting married in August. I was really bitter about it for a while actually... Cause being married and having a family is all I've ever wanted... But it'll come. In it's own time. And by then I'll be better prepared to be a wife and mother, and will have Heavenly Father more centered in my life. Well... Here's hoping!

Me and Shaun are still going from strength to strength. Every time I think I couldn't possibly get any closer to him something comes along to prove me wrong... He let me read his diary last week. Which was a huge shocker - he was dead against it a couple of months ago. And I've found myself opening up to him more about things in my past... Not that I was purposefully covering anything up, I guess these are the kind of things that come with time. He now knows more about me than anyone else ever has... And that's saying a lot. There's nothing I couldn't talk to him about now... In past relationships I've always held back, either consciously or subconsciously, but with him.... It's all just coming out. It's a good thing. And what's better is that he still loves me despite all the rubbish! :) I couldn't ask for anyone better.

Anyway. I'm gonna get gone.
And I'll try and be better with updating this thing!!

xx

So. Here I am again. I had pasta bolognese... Yummy! And then I went and watched "Mobsters & Mormons"... Amusing film =] "YOOHOO... YA SHAKE IT!" Teehee. I guess you have to have seen it for it to be funny. Or... Maybe it's just my odd sense of humour. "FAT GUY!!" Hahaha =D love it.

Preston Temple

Anywhoooo.... I wanted to come back & write about me & Shaun going to Preston Temple on 26/02...
I always love vising the Temple, it gives me such a lovely feeling of peace and wonder. I cannot wait until I can go in and get my Endowments. Even to go in & be able to perform youth baptisms would be good... I just wanna get inside the place!! Haha.
And now that I'm actually working super hard to be Temple worthy it makes the need (want?) even greater. I'm so jealous that Shaun will get to go through the Temple before me. But at the same time I'm really pleased for him. And very proud of him =]

But anyway. Shaun had his dentist's appointment on the Tuesday morning (to be given the once over before he goes on his mission - turns out he needs a couple of fillings)... So after he was done there we set off. It was probably around 1ish when we got onto the motorway, maybe give or take 15 mins or so. I'm not sure. It was a nice drive... I love driving down the M62, like Shaun said, it "takes you through some of the prettiest places in England". There are always lovely views and stuff. And as soon as we could see Moroni, Shaun started squealing like a little girl. Haha bless him =D I get all excited too, but in a different way. I just feel... Like I'm coming home, I guess. And in a way I suppose I am...

Preston Temple 2

Or as close as I will get to coming home whilst on this earth, at any rate!
I bought some new scriptures and a few other things at the Distribution Centre (and I'm not going to go into all the messing around I had with my scriptures otherwise I'll get all annoyed again - I'm just gonna let it go!) and then we wandered up towards the Temple. Shaun went inside to place a couple of names on the prayer roll... And while he was doing that I walked around the front taking pictures (what else would I do?! Haha)... And there was a couple with small children... The children were running around and just generally being kids. I found myself looking at them and really wishing I could have my own. I know... Patience, Chantelle! But I'm just getting so broody these days!
And there were a lot of new missionaries just coming out of the Temple, too. They all looked so happy. I imagined Shaun being one of them in a few months... It made me feel very proud. And I actually got a witness that I was going to be one of them, too... But I'm trying to ignore that. I'm not at all happy with the idea of going on a mission, and I'm hoping the Lord will see fit to changing his mind in the mean time!! Maybe he'll see that I'm actually very happy with my little rented house and my pets and that I do actually have financial commitments that I need to honour (my car, the overdrafts I need to pay off)... Anyway. I'm just not gonna think about that for now.

Me & Shaun

Hmm. So. Then when Shaun had come out we wandered around to the side of the chapel - where he first told me he liked me - and just stood there for a few minutes. It was nice to be back there again! And of course I was still there taking pictures of everything... Mostly us, actually! Haha (see left). I like that picture. Even though my face looks huuuuge (need to work on camera angles!), I can tell we're both really happy. And that's what counts most to me =]

Then we walked back down towards the car to go to the LDS Book Shop... And on the way I took a couple of pictures of Shaun being typically Shaun-like (posing, pointing at things with his mouth agape etc) ... They make me laugh looking at them now =]
Aaaand then we went to the book shop! And then we came home... Stopping on the way for KFC, then getting stuck in traffic due to an overturned lorry on the M62 and subsequently being late for Missionary Correlation! Woohoo! But in all it was a great day. I loved it. And I LOVE being a Mormon =D it rocks.

Street & York Minster

So. Another new blog!! I am useless at keeping these things going, I swear. But I'm thinking that now is as good a time as any to try again - so here I am!

I really like the picture to the left. I took it on a day out to York with Shaun on 25/02. It was a really nice day. We had fun. My feet didn't, though! I stupidly wore heels... And any girl will tell you that walking along cobbled streets half way around York in heels is no fun =( But hey, they went with the outfit!! Obviously that day fashion was more important than function! =]

Anyhow. We drove to the Grimston Bar Park & Ride, then went to the center of town - on the way finding amusment in the form of an unfortunate girl who was sitting in a glass fronted Pizza Hut... With her rather large bottom to the glass and her jeans half way down to her thighs. The expression "park a bike" comes to mind... Poor girl.

Having gotten off the Park & Ride, we went to the other Pizza Hut for some food & then started meandering through York. We ended up going through the Museum Gardens where I took a few more nice pictures & where Shaun had a very amusing incident involving a pigeon!

River Ouse

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My feet were killing me by now, but I soldiered on - with much moaning and groaning - and we walked down by the River Ouse towards the National Railway Museum (see picture on right). I think by this point Shaun was probably getting fed up of me taking pictures of everything... But never mind. I like taking pictures. I may not be very good at it, or understand the dynamics of photography and how to get the "best pictures", but I like preserving my memories. Especially since Shaun will be going on his mission in a few months, I want as many memories with him to look back at as possible! =] I keep thinking about maybe getting a "photo book", or taking up scrapbooking, but I don't know if I'd have the patience for it! Or the creativity! One of my friends, Jo, is AMAZING at scrapbooking - I don't know how she does it! Maybe I could ask her to teach me... Anyways. I'm getting off track.

So. We got to the NRM, and as soon as I got there I had to sit down - I left Shaun to wander around for a little while, whilst I rested my poor aching feet!! After a while I joined him and we walked round together for a few minutes. I remember going to the NRM when I was younger, and again a couple of years ago - I just looked at it as "one of those boring educational places that you go for lack of something better to do"... But when I actually took the time to look and listen properly, it was a lot of fun. And really interesting. Some of the trains are amazing! And so beautiful, too... Especially the early Royal trains, they were like pretty little picturesque apartments on rails with lovely looking furniture and everything =]

After the NRM we headed back down towards the City Centre... Just before we got onto the bridge we noticed that there had been an accident - a man had been hit by a bus. A few people were gathered around, and the windscreen of the bus was shattered. He must have hit the bus with some force... Which makes me think that he walked out in front of it just before it got to him... Either accidentally or on purpose. It really hit me hard, I hate seeing things like that. I said a prayer for the man and his family, and also for the bus driver... And then we moved on.

The Shambles

When we got to the City Centre we walked down by the Minster and I took a few more pictures, and then we made our way to The Shambles so I could take a couple more =] I love The Shambles, it's a lovely little street. And apparently - I tell everyone this - it was J.K. Rowling's inspiration for Diagon Alley! I can see the connection... They look very similar (see picture to the left). Sometimes I wish I could go back to the times when streets like this were first being built - can you imagine? It will have been a completely different world back then. I'd love to spend a day in a time such as that.

Anyway. By the time we'd walked down The Shambles it was getting dark (it was probably around 5:45PM) so we headed back to the bus stop to get back to the Park & Ride.

When we got back into Hull we went to Dom & Jo's for Indian food. I always love spending time at their house. There is always such a lovely spirit there, and it's always so welcoming. Plus I love the way Jo has it decorated! And I love looking at all the little crafty things she's been working on =]
Now apparently the Indian food made everyone but me feel sick the day afterwards. I didn't really feel anything... Maybe I felt a teeny bit off in the morning, but it can't have lasted any longer than an hour. Never mind.

I shall write again later about what me & Shaun did the next day a little later... Right now I'm gonna go find me some food - I've had nothing for lunch yet! That's not like me! Haha x